Turning Off — The Ultimate Answer to Productivity
How the simple act of turning off your phone and doing a digital detox can change your life — almost instantly.
Productivity is not a knight in shining armor. It is an oasis in your heart.
Do you want the luxury of a weekly vacation? Amazing destination — usually unvisited, a total paradise…
It’s my secret to staying embodied and focused. I have to do this, religiously. A few times a week I crash — burnt out from doing too much, part of it is the nature of my work with clients and the other part, my main job — healing myself at the deepest level. There’s a lot to bring into balance! My body tells me to stop. I can’t take in any more words, and I can get a bit more impatient. Each week I try to get more done, and each time, I find myself needing to regain perspective. The mind tries to negotiate — it is a terrorist, begging to be placated.
It rationalizes, “One more errand makes sense. Just one more task.” But it’s never-ending. So the answer starts to be “no”.
The problem is, there is a cumulative effect of doing so many things and not paying attention to what is truly important.
Many of my clients say that they need a vacation. The truth is, when you design a life based on truth — and tuning into what you actually want to do, it is easier to have resentment play less of a role.
It all adds up
The book The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk illustrates this lovingly.
There is no past, everything is held in the body until it is integrated and no longer causes tension or discord. Even if you don’t remember it. Every experience is held in the subconscious. Let that sink in for a moment. We are what we consume — food, media or not, noise.
Would you like to have a vacation?
This is the precious reason why I turn off my phone and internet and do a personal vipassana retreat, one day a week. Sundays are my day for myself. To make it easier, I stay at home. Or leave without my phone.
It is easier to continue on autopilot — being busy brings “value” and distracts from some of the pain that is outside of our control. Yet, if you would like to live in a world of vacation, not just a fantasy postcard wonderland, you need to do the innerwork. There is not a pill or a course that will allow you to do otherwise.
Choose the unexpected and unexplored destination — your inner landscape is eagerly awaiting to be heard.
This amazing vacation destination is accessible and free! You do not have to go anywhere to do this and you can begin when you are ready. I recently read a piece by Nir Eyal on digital detox suggesting that it does not work. I think the challenge is that it begins with seeing how much this device controls you and finding a way to at least use it for your healing and betterment of society.
I wanted to offer my insights on how to successfully reduce attachment and longing for the phone. The reality though is it goes deeper than the phone — it gets into the violence and injurious way society has sculpted us to lose more and more of our humanity and common dignity.
Here is a short tutorial on why this weekly vacation is so critical.
Being offline helps the body to relax by tuning to natural rhythms.
Why do a digital detox?
We are consumed by a fast-paced world with unrealistic expectations and competition. Give yourself a chance to breathe.
After living in an unexpected war zone, I have learned the importance of dropping in at deeper and deeper levels. It helps me to find space from all the things outside of my control.
The truth is that you don’t need a war zone or even chaos to long for connection and peace. We live in a society coveting instant-everything — results now, report finished yesterday, on-demand movies, quick texting. When you are immersed in it, it is hard to see the dysfunction in any of it. It becomes the norm and anyone selling anything else — is not hip to the times, not “productive” or _______ (fill-in-the-blank underhanded comment of choice.
We are sold the myth of instant in today’s disposable society when there is absolutely nothing disposable about dignity and integrity of our soul.
Who needs to detox?
An easy exercise to know if this is right for you: Do you feel you need a vacation? Do you dream of a getaway somewhere? What would you do on this vacation? What would you not do? Is checking your email and being attached to your phone part of your dream honeymoon? To be honest, most of the world’s workforce is a weaponized time bomb due to unmet needs, desires and being perceived as valued. Just like we don’t multitask while we sleep, taking time off from technology is what builds up creativity.
We are challenged to produce, not because we are lacking motivation or lazy; it is because we are overstimulated. Think about all the input we take in each day — each conversation, article, post, message, etc. It all takes a toll by overstimulation. All these things might be good in smaller doses, but the reality is that we are just taking too much in. This is a great article by Sean Kernan on this topic.
For me, my vacation would be phone off, no email, and being alive to the moment and what is around me — being someplace in nature and connecting to my purpose.
If you long with deep affection for a vacation, it is your heart’s way of letting you know you are not living in the way you feel most fulfilled. Although that might be scary to comprehend, it is terrifying to live an entire life that way.
The challenge is to choose the thing you know you need to do but you are reluctant to do. If you are used to a lot of movement, going slow(er) may be “boring”. It took me about two years to listen to a chiropractor telling me that my nervous system was on alert because of how I was living my life. I used to only choose the types of yoga classes that “I” “liked” (Which part of me is speaking anyway?) The real me knew I needed to do alignment based classes that were not “fun” for my ego. It wanted the fast-paced classes but you can hurt yourself more that way. That is definitely not fun.
Sometimes the first step is seeing what it is you believe to be “you” likes and processing why you like it. And from there, start to see what you actually need.
What is a digital detox?
Pretend it is 1980 or 1990. Put on a cool outfit if that helps. It was easier back then as it didn’t exist!
No instant-everything. So put the phone on airplane mode or turn it off. Turn off the internet. It’s ok to use the computer to play music or to journal. I find it gets messy when there are competing interests. As humans we want others to like us and we seek that dopamine rush. So anything that involves technology and involves receiving or sending information is best to be avoided.
It is not necessarily a week or month-long activity. The digital detox is there to reset your boundaries with technology use. Consider it like a spa day away from stress. We violate our own boundaries constantly in order to please others. The digital detox is a chance to put you first — no interference and you commit to not cheating yourself of what you need. I find the more you can actually be off of technology and not rely on it, the more resilience you develop.
The hidden goal with the detox is to build up your own inner knowing — that you are a source of wisdom. We tend to overrely on others, technology and in the process, we negate our own power.
Does it make sense to do longer than a day? If it creates more stress, definitely not. Pick an amount of time that creates joy — and eliminates stress. It’s not a competition with others; it is a therapeutic intervention to help you find peace.
How to do this successfully?
Pick a day you can commit to yourself and be reliable to your word. It doesn’t matter how cool the party or activity is that you may “miss”. Think about what you are missing by ignoring the inner landscape that sends subconscious messages.
Commit to an amount of time: 6 hours, 12 hours, 24 hours, 36 hours — whatever — that you can not look at your phone. By letting go of the phone, your nervous system responses can slow down; it allows your breathing to slow. If easier, go on a hike with no cell phone reception. That is what gave me the idea in the first place. See how you feel during the hike and then after. Build up to doing longer periods of time.
During this time, ideally try to not engage with others. A day in silence will bring this to the next level. At the very least, avoid any and all expectations and commitments. See if you can create an environment of peace so that your nervous system can self-regulate. Journalling is a great activity. Even writing about how you want to check your email and why is a great activity! It will get you closer to understanding yourself.
What do you not normally have time to do? Something that brings you joy? It’s a great day to bring that into the picture as well.
Simple ways to do a digital detox:
Set a day that you promise you will dedicate to your inner growth, healing and self-care.
Turn off your phone the day before. Airplane mode is fine.
If you must, let people know you will not be looking at your phone so as to not worry.
Practice silence if you can. It gives a chance for the deeper part of you to speak.
Resist any temptation to search for something on your phone or even look at it. The phone will try to convince you that you are missing something. You are not. It is the rest of the world that is missing out on the spaciousness of letting go.
Journal and watch any desire or attempt to justify why you need to look at your phone. Question why do you need to look now?
Do things that fulfill you fully. It is not selfish to let yourself be immersed in taking care of yourself.
Honor your word to yourself.
Go slow the following morning. Do meditation before you turn your phone on again.
Watch the shift in stress in you with technology on and off.
